Are We Doomed to Engrish Packaging? (NSFW)

engrish.featured English is the hardest language in the world to learn. That’s why I have such respect for those who can learn and speak English, usually better than me can. It’s odd that English would be chosen the international language for air traffic controllers and pilots who travel the globe. Almost every country teaches their school aged children English as a second language while American school children are usually stuck with Franch, Sponish or Germoing for two years in high school where study ethics and drive excel, right behind texting, which is a language unto itself, although it’s found its way onto résumés. The biggest problem with English is that one word can mean several different things.  You bomb a city and a comedian can bomb in front of an audience. It’s there, their and they’re, you’re and your and even yore.  As with the importance of proofreading, making sure every stroke in a kanji is absolutely correct and basic quality control, other language packaging is a delicate balance of screwing up a whole lot and complete disaster.  So how do we end up with Engrish? In the United States, many manufacturers save on packaging by using English French (for the French-Canadian market) and Spanish (for the Latin and American-Latino market). The result is ten pounds of copy in a five pound bag. Companies are very careful to make sure not only the language is correct but that it’s written in a conversational way with proper colloquialisms. With all of that in mind, Engrish was born! It’s really all about being cheap and not hiring an American to help. So, here’s how to save money and ruin your packaging!

I’ve Tasted This Somewhere Before…

funnyfood9 funnyfood14 I don’t want a tour of the factory! food-fail18 Only? I guess that makes it organic, so that’s okay! food-fail2 A Labrador with a twist of Shih Tzu, shaken, not stirred! funnyfood13 funnyfood17 It’s Belgian but from Uranus? How does that… oooooh! funnyfood81 funnyfood61 Only if it’s chilled. funnyfood22 It’s just like Life cereal, it just reminds us that life is poo. What a way to start your day! food-fail14 Eventually, yes, that will happen.

Packaged Cannibalism

funnyfood23 funnyfood20 Burger King does have different menu items around the world, catering to different cultures.  funnyfood18 350 grams! That’s… frightening! funnyfood10 The bird or the action? funnyfood11 It’s due to the shape and length. Country of origin left off as a case of national pride. funnyfood12 Is that a 100% chicken head on the front? funnyfood3 Maybe it’s just an exclamation and not a flavor? food-fail17 Hasn’t it always been? food-fail13 Well… um, it has horses on it, which may make it even worse! food-fail8 Relax! If it was Shredded Child Meat THEN you could go nuts.

Live, Breath and Eat Diversity

funnyfood24 Translation: “Like the texture of this snack chip corn these men like it rough” food-fail15 But what if a straight person is hungry? funnyfood2 But what if a straight person is thirsty? funnyfood21 But what if a… I guess just buy it! food-fail7 food-fail6 The days my great-grandfather spoke of. food-fail Special vitamins? food-fail10 The Bertolli company decided “what-the-hell!” as the gay-bashing comments boycott lasted only a week.

Violence and Death Packaging

food-fail11 food-fail9 Available in the new lead-lined container! food-fail3 Don’t bring this into your home! food-fail4 I’ve heard this practice promoted health benefits but thought they had it branded a bit better than “Urinal.” food-fail5 food-fail12 They actually sound PROUD of themselves.

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